Like me, I'm sure you were astonished at John MCain's VP pick. Granted, after the "How many houses have you got" gaffe, he couldn't pick Romney (way too tall for him anyway). The two of them could house the entire population of Equatorial Guinea at their various properties.
Tina Fey look-alike and First Dude
Tom Pawlenty of Minnesota? Governor, sorry, your foreign-affairs resume is a bit thin, and you're no match for Joe Biden. Enter the brilliant, counter-intuitive stroke, Sarah Palin. A Biden-killer, maybe an Obama-slayer, if I ever saw one. Her resume is impressive indeed for a self-described "hockey mom." Consider:
1. She's pro-life. Everyone knows that Biden is pro-death.
2. She was mayor of Wasilla. Senator Biden, have you ever run a town of 7000 rifle-toting Skidoo owners?
3. She's an Evangelical Christian. Joe, your Catholicism is a decadent cult, and Jesus would cast you out of the temple.
4. She hunts. (See #2.)
5. She's been Governor of the great state of Alaska, the 49th State, for eighteen months. Senator, your role in crafting legislation for 36 years in the hothouse world of Washington, next to Bin-Laden's hideout the most hateful place on earth, is piddling in comparison.
6. She taxed oil companies and is doling out $1200 to each Alaskan just for being Alaskan. Take that, you tax-and-spend welfare-enabling pissant.
7. She wants to drill for more oil in the federalized wilderness areas of her state. It's about ending dependence on foreign oil, not oil itself. Oil is good.
8. She is a dedicated environmentalist. Who would love Alaska's environment to warm up even more so she could point with pride at reducing Alaskans' heating bills.
9. She took on corrupt cronyism in Juneau and won. She's rolling up her sleeves and is set to do the same in DC, if that's what a Vice President does. (She's a little unsure. So's her boss.)
10. She has a First Dude. That Todd -- her husband, her high-school sweetheart who is part-Eskimo -- looks like one party animal. Take that, Jill Biden.
These are just the top ten reasons why she's the perfect VP candidate for McCain. Oh and the fact that she has agreed not to wear high heels when she's in the same room with him.
A little appreciated fact about Sarah Palin is that she loves her wine. And as governor of her state, she has had some impressive initiatives under development for some time (6 months! a third of her time in office!), which by dint of might and main, I managed to mine from her in a telephone interview conducted at 11 pm Eastern Time.












Occhipinti in Sicily. (Don't fall in love.) Her dad & his partners at COS. Frank Cornelissen. (Bring your wallet.)
Caffe Sicilia (corso Vittorio Emanuele, 125) is an artisanal gelato and cannoli place in Noto that you absolutely will not believe; the gelati are from things foraged the day before by the proprietor, and the cannoli will make you forget every other cannolo you've ever experienced (except perhaps the one in The Godfather).
Maurì (via Tagliamento, 22) in Portopalo di Capo Passero, just for the antipasti.
Erice, for at least a night (the thing is the sleep there, but maybe not try to drive or park there). Eat at Monte San Giuliano (vicolo San Rocco, 7) for the fish cous-cous.
Definitely a meal at Cantina Siciliana (via Giudecca, 36) in Trapani, especially for the octopus.
Bartoli in Marsala. Piazza Armerina. All of the Greek temples you can find time to see. Taormina, but only with the right (touristy) expectations. Palermo, of course. The basilica in Cefalu. Mt. Etna on a clear day (one out of ten).
Hire a driver. Don't drive. DO NOT DRIVE.
I asked why he advised one not to drive in such strong terms. Here is his reply. It's both hilarious and daunting.
We were rear-ended (by an Aston-Martin) within five hours of our arrival. While stopped at railroad tracks. With an oncoming train well within sight.There are no lights or stop signs in many towns; if you honk first, you get to go, unless you don't. And unless you're on a Vespa. People drive with their side mirrors folded in (which you will also do), because there's no way to drive down streets or even on freeways without those inches of extra horizontal room. Impossibly twisty one-lane roads are, of course, four-lane roads as used by Sicilians. And, naturally, they're high-speed four-lane roads.
We were almost run off the cliff by a Lamborghini (high enough for a full thirty seconds before our fiery death) on the way up to Erice. Thank God for his turning radius.
We waited 25 minutes to merge at an intersection in Palermo...in light traffic. I'm not exaggerating. And no one was even honking at us, because it's apparently completely normal to wait that long. If we'd been willing to have a crushed front fender, of course, we could have gone at any time. Take a look at coaches and limos there, and they all have them.
We returned the rental car full of scratches and dents, and were told they were completely normal for Sicilian rentals and we wouldn't be charged, as long as the Aston-Martin guy drove an hour and a half to Catania and handed over his insurance info. (Which, thankfully, he did.)
Driving in any other part of Italy is to driving in Sicily as driving in rural Kansas is to driving a cab on the leading edge of a Manhattan rush hour.
The Sicilians were wonderful, warm people, and we enjoyed each and every one of them. Until they got behind the wheel of a car. At which point they all drove like they had one-inch penises. And I mean that affectionately, of course. ;-)
Oh my God.Thank you, Thor. I think.