This is how dumb Americans can be --
No, no, let me set this up properly.
A few years ago I met a Tuscan landowner and producer of wine and olive oil (naturalmente). He had a posh agriturismo (let not the name dismay, an agriturismo is a tax dodge). His marketing person had told me that his goal was to get guests to pay to harvest grapes and, later olives. He confirmed this. We laughed. The marketing person then was an American too. "You're gonna make them pay to help you harvest!?" We talked about all those Poles and Romanians who would be jobless if this outlandish idea took hold.
FF to today. The producer and his current marketing person told me that, certo, Americans were paying 100 euros extra to spend 2 days "helping" harvest the grapes. OK, they probably got in the way more than they really helped. Still.
I asked what sort of idiots these people were.
"They're 60 year old people who have never done anything like this, and they were thrilled."
"Oh, they're the sort of Americans who walk around with a smile all the time and are enthusiastic about everything - even being exploited?"
"Yes!" Then they told me I wasn't a typical American. Jesus, I thought, are we all supposed to be that dumb?
"They're not like you! You're not a real American!" What, they've been Twittering with Sarah Palin?
I wondered where these poor saps could have come from. Besides Ohio. Anybody from Ohio is just so tickled to leave the place. I asked, "Well, what did they get in return?"
"Well, we gave them lunch." (!!!)
"What did you give them?"
"Lots of pasta."
"What else?" Blank looks. "A bottle of oil? Some of your cheapest wine?"
They looked at each other hilariously.
"You cheap bastards!"
They laughed and exclaimed, "They loved it! They thought it was a great privilege!"
I told them that if I ever visited them (and I do like their wines), I would avoid harvest time. If I didn't, I'd pretend I didn't speak English, because I'd be highly tempted to start an uprising of the exploited masses (of senior citz).
En bref, mes amis, that is how stupid Americans are supposed to be.
Chinese people, your big moment is coming.
Oh, how clever and astute of them! They have a tax dodge, get free labor and have a good laugh while they're at it.
I'm not surprised that you don't dare give the name and address of these wonderful people that make all Italians (and wine-growers in general) proud.
Posted by: Fabius | November 10, 2009 at 05:23 AM
I'm going to have to come up with an Italian translation of "there's a sucker born every minute."
Posted by: TH | November 10, 2009 at 09:17 AM
We would say: "la madre dei cretini è sempre incinta".
God bless America!
Posted by: gianpaolo | November 10, 2009 at 10:52 AM
Thanks for the translation, GPP, and I accept your blessing on behalf of all dumb Americans.
Posted by: TH | November 10, 2009 at 11:05 AM
TH This is rich. So I take it they read Tom Sawyer???
I went to Ca and helped friends of mine harvest their grapes this Sept. After about 15 minutes my back was killing me,so I went and got a chair. This worked really well and put me at better eye level with the clusters. It was a lot more enjoyable and productive.
For my labors, I ate like a gourmand, drank like money was no object, was treated to Sonoma Wine Festival and Auction, Hall and Oates concert, dinner and all it cost me was the price of my plane ticket!
Posted by: Thom Calabrese | November 12, 2009 at 09:26 AM
You had me till the Hall & Oates concert. (ack)
But seriously, I think you got the better deal, by far.
Posted by: TH | November 12, 2009 at 09:29 AM
Hey, wait a minute! I'm not leaving Ohio... until Gwen graduates from high school!!!
Posted by: John Hughes | November 20, 2009 at 11:19 AM